


Shattered Smile

by Lilly0



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Comfort, Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-01-16 23:04:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12352371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilly0/pseuds/Lilly0
Summary: Young and ambitious medicine student Sho gets hired by wealthy Matsumoto-san to tutor his 19-year old son Jun. Jun spent months in hospital, they say, but now wants to get into a college. Soon Sho realizes that tutoring Jun is not all he needs to do. Jun seems to be broken, hiding from the world and not even opening up to his family anymore. I want to see him smile again, his father said, but no one tells Sho anything about what happened to Jun...  It's incredible hard to put the broken pieces together again but Sho wants to try.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cielmelodies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cielmelodies/gifts).



It’s a good opportunity, it really is. After all most of the money he has goes into his tuition fee and rent, so to buy a few books and personal things he needs to have some extra money. He knows his parents provide him with everything, but he wants to stand on his own two legs too and not just depend on them. Living off his wealthy parents for even the tiniest thing is just… no. When it’s about something more luxurious, things he wants for his pleasure, he wants to earn his own money.

 

“I’ve heard you are studying medicine, Sho-kun, is that true?”

 

“Yes.” Sho nods his head. “It was always my dream to become a doctor.”

 

“And your parents supported you?”

 

Sho chuckles. “It’s funny that you ask,” he says with a smile. “Because I was scared first to tell my father, I thought he wanted me to become his successor.”

 

The man in front of him smiles. He has a stoic face but his eyes are soft and sometimes his lips tug in amusement. “But you told him the truth eventually?”

 

“Of course, after all there was no other option for me than to become a doctor,” Sho says with emphasis. “And he accepted it. He even said he is happy for the career path I chose.”

 

The man laughs. “Typical for my old friend Sakurai.” He pulls on his cigarette, eyeing Sho curiously. “And why did you choose to become a doctor, if I may ask?”

 

Sho’s eyes gleam. “I’ve always wanted to become a doctor! Since as long as I can remember. When I was a teenager I volunteered in hospital every summer, and it was such a fulfilling work. Many people say it’s sad, and that’s true, but I want to help. If I’m able to save even one person with my research, I’ve already won!” he exclaims, blushing slightly when he realizes he probably got carried away. “I’m sorry,” he stutters. “You might think I’m a dreamer, Matsumoto-san, talking like a child.”

 

Matsumoto chuckles. “Not at all.” He tilts his head. “I’ve heard you study a lot, Sho-kun, how do you manage to still have a social life?”

 

To be honest, Sho does not have a social life at all, but he does not mind. His studies come first for now, although he feels lonely sometimes. He tells himself though that once he is finished with his studies, he will finally be ready to live properly.

 

Sho sighs slightly, trying to shift the topic. “About the tutor job you wanted to talk to me about…”

 

“Young people are always so impatient,” Matsumoto jokes, but soon his eyes grow more serious. “Sho-kun, my son was sick most of the last year. It’s a miracle he was able to finish High School, and it was just thanks to them being so understanding that he could do some work from home or hospital. He couldn’t take any entrance exams for the universities though because of his health, but now that he feels better, he wants to study again and give it a try.”

 

Sho nods, listening closely. “It means he has a little less than one year to catch up with everything and prepare for the upcoming entrance exams?” He asks, taking notes eagerly. That’s a lot.

 

The man smiles. “Yes, I know it’s not an easy job. I don’t want him to go to cram school or anything alike. I want him to study in a casual, relaxing atmosphere. He finally started to feel better again and we don’t want his health do falter again. I was searching for a good private tutor, when I met your father for our monthly Mahjongg game. He told me a lot about you.”

 

Sho blushes. Got the job over his parents again? “I hope I can meet your expectations, Matsumoto-san.”

 

“I’m sure you can,” the man smiles. “I took the liberty to research your name and it seems you are good in all subjects, and always have the highest marks. Also I have heard you successfully tutored others too. Besides… you are passionate about your job choice. I like that”

 

Sho’s eyes widen, his heart jumping in joy. So, his father just introduced them to each other, but in the end, this man wants to hire him because he thinks he is good. Matsumoto Junichi senior is the head of a law company, his name weighs a lot. He is friends with Sho’s father since many years, apparently they went to college together. Also their wives were friends for a long time, until Matsumoto’s wife passed away. He knows he can’t disappoint this man, he can’t fail. “I know your son already graduated but do you think it’s possible to see his school work from his last year? Tests, homework and alike? It would help me a lot to see where I have to start.” He checks his notes. “Also it would help to know which universities he wants to apply for and the subjects he is interested in, so that I can research exactly what they require.”

 

A chuckle. “That’s the dedication I wanted to see, Sho-kun. Of course, I’ll talk to the school. You can go there anytime.” He pauses. “Listen, Sho-kun, my son is not in the best place emotionally, which is why we start so early with his tutor lessons. I want him to start slowly, and regain some joy in life again.”

 

Sho blinks in surprise. “Excuse me, sir, but what do you mean?”

 

“I haven’t seen him smiling for a year. I would like to see his happy face again. The incidents which made him sick came and took a lot more than just his physical health. It feels like he can’t be happy anymore. You asked me which universities he is interested in. Well, that’s already the problem, Jun hasn’t shown any interest in anything since months.” Matsumoto slips closer. “Sho-kun, you have all the liberties you want and need. If you feel the need to take my son on a vacation to help him study, if you want to make a field trip, if you need to visit a factory abroad, whatever, money is not an issue. You can do whatever you want, as long as my son will in some way benefit from it. If by the end of the year, the light is back in his eyes and he makes it to only one college, I’m already content.”

 

Sho stares at the man in surprise, slowly beginning to understand that this work is probably going to be pretty difficult. “May I ask something personal?” Sho asks carefully.

 

“Of course, go ahead.”

 

“What kind of sickness did he have?” Sho asks nervously, not sure if he is allowed to ask. “And is he healed now?”

 

“Maybe sickness is the wrong word. But he was bound to hospital.” Matsumoto tilts his head. “Yes, he is healed now, at least physically. As for all the details, I think it’s better if he tells you about them himself.” He smiles. “He is a good child, Sho-kun. He is a bit stubborn sometimes, and he is very closed at the moment, but a good child. I hope he will eventually start to trust you and learn to open up again.” He takes a deep breath. “If this is too much for you, Sho-kun, and you think you can’t handle it, I won’t be mad at you for declining. I will pay you well of course, but in the end we both know this is not just about tutoring someone.”

 

Having him as a tutor is just an excuse, Sho thinks. In the end it’s not about receiving good results or marks but for this man’s son to find some joy in things again.

 

“You want me to make him love life again, am I right?” Sho asks carefully. “Because honestly, we both know you could easily pay any college to take him and a top-notch tutor.”

 

The man nods with a smile. “I knew you are a smart child.”

 

“I’m not sure if I’ll be able to succeed,” Sho says after a while. “I don’t know if I can actually make someone happy. I’m not sure if I’m sensitive enough.”

 

Matsumoto chuckles. “Sho-chan,” he teases, using Sho’s old children name. “If I wanted someone sensitive, I would have hired a professional therapist. We have such a person too, don’t worry. What I want for Jun is to open up again and see the positive side of life with the help of a person that is dedicated and full of motivation.”

 

Sho swallows, still worried if he can actually take such an important task without knowing any details, but there is something inside him, a strong urge aside of the money he wants, something that makes it impossible for him to turn this man down. No one has ever wanted him for such an important task. He was always Sho, the son of the famous politician, nothing more, and now here was this man, ready to put his faith into him and to entrust his son to him. “I will do it,” he says firmly. “I can’t promise anything and I’m not sure if I am patient enough or strong enough, but I’ll try.” He looks at Matsumoto hopefully. “Is it possible to get in contact with Jun-kun’s old friends though? I want to see if I can make him meet them at one point.”

 

“Of course,” the man smiles warmly. “We tried it too. They tried. But Jun wasn’t ready yet. Maybe you can open the door for them.”

 

~~~

 

 

Sho found out that Jun had a huge liking in music and literature _before_. Before whatever, no one tells him anything, not even his parents. It seems like no one really knows much anyways, even the headmaster of Jun’s old school rejects all the personal questions about Jun’s health., and at one point Sho decides not to ask any private details anymore. Maybe it’s better to go into this without any prejudice and as neutral as possible.

 

He has called one of Jun’s friends, his former best friend, a guy named Ninomiya, and he told him that he would be ready to see and meet Jun anytime, an information Sho saves in his mind for the moment Jun might really open up to him.

 

When he told his own father that he got the job, he was overly happy, much to Sho’s surprise. Sho will never forget the proud expression of his father when he told him he is going to help his best friend’s son.

 

The talk with Jun’s father was in his office, but for his tutor (or whatever… companion/have fun/find joy in life) lessons Sho will have to go to the personal villa which is located at a quieter region close to Kyoto. Too quiet, Sho thinks, when he gets off the taxi. Matsumoto-san asked him to stay three weeks at the mansion before his classes and alike will start again. Once they do, he and his son will also move to the apartment in the city and Sho can meet Jun regularly there.

 

“Sakurai-san,” the door opens with a slight screech and the friendly face of a butler greets him.

 

Sho bows. “I’m sorry for coming so late in the evening.”

 

“No problem,” the butler smiles. “We knew there would be a lot of traffic on a Friday afternoon. Unfortunately you won’t be able to meet Jun-sama today. He is still feeling tired at evenings and goes to bed early.”

 

Sho nods, but his stomach clenches in nervousness. He hasn’t seen Jun until now, and he is not sure what he got himself into. He wished he could have met him at the day of his arrival and get this inevitable first awkward meeting over with. But he is in no position to sulk. It’s just natural that Jun already went to sleep.

 

When Sho enters the house, he feels almost a bit intimidated. His own family is pretty wealthy, but the Matsumoto family seems almost like noblemen. Matsumoto-san greets him so warmly though that his feeling of discomfort goes away immediately. They have dinner together and Matsumoto tells him everything about the house and also that he can always take the bus to town. “I don’t expect you to stay here 24/7,” he explains with a smile. “You are young, feel free to go out and roam around. You are not supposed to be with Jun every second. You are not our maid or anything, you are here to spend some time with Jun, but not every wake moment.”

 

Sho frowns. This man pays him for this job. He can’t just slack off and go to town to have some fun. “But-“

 

“Jun still needs longer breaks to sleep and rest,” Matsumoto interrupts him with a grin. “At these hours you will have nothing to do.” He chuckles. “You are like your father, Sho-kun. So serious. I’ll tell Aiba-san to sometimes remind you to take time off.”

 

“Aiba-san?”

 

“My butler,” Matsumoto explains. “His son sometimes visits too. He is a nice and sweet guy. I hoped he would befriend Jun, but…”

 

Sho eyes him curiously. “He couldn’t befriend him?”

 

“Jun’s shell is hard to break,” Matsumoto finally admits. Whatever that means. Sho just wonders how out of all he is supposed to break it when apparently nicer and more sensitive people before him failed. When Jun’s own family failed! His father seems like such an easy-going and supportive guy, still it seems like Jun doesn’t even open up to him.

 

Later on his way upstairs to his room he notices a wheelchair leaning against the balustrade.

 

“Jun-sama,” the butler whispers. “Is sleeping at the far end of the corridor. Please be quiet when you go to the bathroom not to wake him up. It’s close to his room.”

 

“The wheelchair?” Sho whispers.

 

The man sighs. “Sometimes he still feels weak. He doesn’t always need it anymore though, gladly.”

 

Sho nods, eagerly following the man everywhere and concentrating to remember all the important places. Then he is finally alone, ready to unpack his suitcase. Before he goes to sleep, he goes to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and taking a swift shower. It’s when he gets out of the room and closes the door that he hears a rustling sound and a door that gets closed. Sho turns around swiftly, his eyes searching for the place the noise came from. The only room left is Jun’s. Sho’s lips tug slightly. Look who is curious. He doesn’t linger in the corridor though, afraid that Jun will realize he is lurking around and get scared. Instead he goes to his room and stretches on his bed, grabbing a book with poems. It contains mostly German and French poems, one day he hopes he can read them in their original languages.

 

~~~

 

Sho gets up at 7AM, showering and changing swiftly before heading downstairs. To his disappointment he meets only Matsumoto there. The man laughs. “You are like an open book, Sho-kun,” he smiles. “I’m sorry it’s just me.”

 

Sho blushes deeply. “No, it’s not like that. It’s just…”

 

“I know.” The man smiles reassuringly. “Don’t worry. Just come and eat your breakfast. You are early anyway. I told you you can sleep in.”

 

“But I…” Sho pauses, how should he explain that his sense of duty prohibits him from sleeping in like he is lazy and not taking this seriously. “I can’t treat this as a vacation.”

 

“Hm,” Matsumoto hums. “Listen, Sho-kun. Let’s make a deal. I will never lie to you. When I tell you, you can sleep in, I mean it. When your presence is needed early in the morning, I will tell you too. You are not my butler or maid, you are here to tutor my son, and you don’t need to do that every hour every single day. I would be happy if you see yourself as a guest. You will soon realize that the task I entrusted you with is not an easy one. Which is why I want you to feel at home here.” He chuckles. “You will never meet Jun before 8AM anyways, just so you know. He is bad with mornings. As for today he had a check-up and is not even here right now. He will come back at afternoon.”

 

Sho looks dumbfounded for a moment, even more so when the man in front of him bursts into laughter again. He only stops when Aiba-san brings them their breakfast. Scrambled eggs with ham. Against his intention Sho has to grin too. “My friends always tell me I’m too stuck up and too serious.”

 

“You are genuine,” Matsumoto comments. “I like this about you. You are honest and genuine. I have high hopes in you.”

 

Sho feels pressured almost immediately. He is not a therapist or anything alike. “I… I am just a student, Matsumoto-san.”

 

“I said I have high hopes in you, but it doesn’t mean that I expect you to work miracles. You just do what you can do. You said you don’t want to see this as your vacation. But I would like for you to see it like this, a vacation with a friend of your family, where you spend time with my son and sometimes study with him.”

 

_Make him smile._

 

That’s what Matsumoto told him during their first meeting. _I want to see him happy again_. Sho takes a deep breath. Yes, it’s not like him to freak out before he even started with the task. Just go into it, with full mind and full spirits, that’s the Sakurai-family-motto!

 

Hence Sho decides to take Matsumoto’s advice to heart and get accustomed with the house and its surroundings. It was dark yesterday when he came here, but now he can see everything. There seems to be a huge lake close to the house, there is even a stable with a few horses (Matsumoto himself seems to like riding. Jun not so much as he has no hand for animals, that’s what Aiba-san told him), there is a huge library which makes Sho speechless for minutes, even more so when Matsumoto good-heartedly tells him he can borrow and read as many books as he likes to. Then he goes to his room and reads into the folders he got from Jun’s school to see in which subjects he missed the most. His language skills seem to be good, both in Japanese and in English, probably a natural talent. Maths and science seems to be more of a problem though. He also missed quite some bits of his history and geography classes.

 

Sho decides to wait for Jun and talk with him and see what kind of universities he is interested in. He is slowly really getting into this task here. Finally something interesting to do. He is so engulfed in his work that he almost misses Jun’s arrival.

 

A knock against the door and Aiba-san’s reminder to go downstairs save him from embarrassing himself and not meeting Jun.

 

Once downstairs he carefully takes a glance around the corner. Next to Matsumoto there is a slender figure, black hair, body clad in a wide sweater. Sho steps forward with a smile, finally meeting Jun. He is not sure what he expected, but definitely not this…


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun and Sho meet for the first time, and Jun is nothing like Sho expected him to be. He is shy and introverted. Sho wonders how to make him open up. Then he meets friends of Jun's old life...

“It’s nice to meet you, Jun-kun,” Sho greets the young guy politely, barely able to hide his relief to finally meet Jun. The last two weeks after he accepted the job offer from Matsumoto he spent with wondering about this mysterious guy and his mysterious sickness, and imagining how he would be and how he would look like. With the amount of wealth Matsumoto has accumulated he expected a spoiled and sassy kid, but…

“Thank you for coming,” Jun stutters, his words barely audible. He is not looking at Sho or anyone else, bowing his head slightly. Jun looks to the ground for the entire time, and Sho isn’t sure if he is shy or scared. Or both. His father puts a comforting arm around his shoulders and pulls him towards Sho. “Jun, this is Sho-kun. He is my best friend’s son. I told you about him, didn’t I?”

Jun nods. His hair is pretty long for a guy, covering parts of his face now, like he is hiding behind it. He looks a little bit younger than his age, Sho thinks, probably because he resembles a shy deer or a sacred kitten. Sho has to fight back the urge to reach out his hand, cup Jun’s chin and make him raise his head so that he can actually see his face! He doesn’t even know how Jun’s eyes look like.

But he figures this gesture would be pretty creepy. He smiles. “I am happy to finally meet you, Jun-kun!” he repeats.

“I’m sorry for troubling you, Sakurai-kun,” Jun answers quietly.

“Sho is fine,” Sho says casually, ignoring Jun’s obvious surprise. “How about we go to the living room? I have a whole questionnaire to ask you to see what we can do throughout the next week and what you want to do!”

Jun nods obediently, following Sho to the living room. Out of the corner of his eyes Sho can see that he is limping slightly. There are also crutches at the entrance door, probably for longer distanced walks. It kind of reminds him of the wheel chair upstairs. Gladly Jun doesn’t seem to need it anymore though. They settle in the second living room of the mansion, the smaller cosier one next to the library.

When Aiba-san brings them tea, Sho carefully starts with his interrogation. Full of motivation! “Jun-kun, which university are you interested in?”

“Any is fine for me,” Jun answers nervously.

“Hm.” Sho tilts his head. Maybe Jun doesn’t know many universities. “Do you have a subject you are interested in?”

Jun stays quiet. “Whatever my father wants me to study is fine.”

Sho blinks. “But if you ask your father, he will probably say law or economics, so that you can follow his footsteps. Is that really alright for you?”

Jun nods. “That’s okay.”

Sho stares at him for a while. Jun still hasn’t even looked at him, he keeps staring at his fingers or at the floor, eyes hidden behind his bangs. He looks like a scared, hurt little rabbit, making Sho’s heart clench in sympathy. “Did you have a subject in school that interested you?” he asks softly.

Jun shrugs.

“I can help you find out,” he suggests, thinking about how Jun apparently liked literature and music before.

Jun bites down on his lip. “It doesn’t matter,” he finally says. “It doesn’t matter what I like.”

Sho holds back his surprise. Jun apparently suppresses everything at the moment, like he is punishing himself or like he has given up on himself. Sho isn’t sure why Jun is so passive. He needs to think of a way to make him open up. However for now Sho goes back to asking simple questions, such as what Jun can remember from his classes, how many tests he missed. All things Sho actually already knows, but he wants Jun to talk more with him, to get more comfortable around him.

_It’s going to be difficult to break the shell surrounding him._

~~~

Sho has started with rather simple history lessons with Jun, deciding it would be better to start with a simple subject than with maths or something alike. They normally settle down in the living room or on the terrace, with tea and cake or cookies. Jun obediently does everything Sho asks him to, but stays passive all the time. It’s like a wall he built around himself and all Sho can do is take an imaginary hammer and chisel, and try to break through it.

“Do you like history?” Sho asks when they sit at the terrace again. Aiba-san has tucked Jun in a blanket so that he won’t catch a cold.

“Sure,” Jun answers immediately, as expected. Jun never voices his dislike towards something, just like he doesn’t voice his like. Whenever they have dinner and breakfast with his father, he always obediently agrees to everything he suggests. Sho knows Matsumoto wants his son to show that he is excited for something or that he dislikes an idea, but Jun always nods politely and obeys.

Sho wishes he would at least look at him for once and not always hide behind his thick hair. A sudden idea strikes him. “Listen Jun-kun, do you have a really bad pimple? I don’t mind, just so you know.”

“Sorry?” he can hear Jun’s surprise clearly.

Sho fights back his grin. “Well, you seem to hide behind your hair, so I thought you either had a pimple or a make-up emergency case.”

“I don’t use make up,” Jun mumbles.

“So it’s a pimple,” Sho states. “Don’t worry. I was also fighting one yesterday right on my forehead. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Jun looks up suddenly, much to Sho’s joy. It worked! Such a cheap trick, but it worked! Sho takes in Jun’s face which he can finally see for real. He resembles his father with his strong cheekbones, his perfectly shaped nose and his full lips, but his eyebrows are more prominent and his eyes so dark. It’s a pair of the prettiest eyes Sho has ever seen. So deep. What a beautiful guy, Sho thinks, so beautiful. Everything about Jun is beautiful. Why the heck is he hiding?

Jun pouts a bit. “You don’t have a pimple.”

“You don’t have one either,” Sho points out.

Jun looks confused. “But I never said I did,” he stutters.

Sho inwardly cheers on himself for this conversation. Not only is it silly, but Jun actually talked back to him. They are almost _bickering_. Well, it’s not really bickering as Jun is rather confused than anything else, but coming from _Yes, Sho-kun. Of course Sho-kun. Whatever you say, Sho-kun._ Sho thinks this is a huge step forward.

Jun is about to let his head drop down again and hide behind his curly strands of hair, but this time Sho is faster. He reaches out his hand, the tip of his index finger catching Jun’s chin, stopping it from moving downwards. For a moment Jun looks nervous and Sho tries to smile soothingly. “It’s important,” he says softly. “That you find a study you like.”

Jun stares at him, eyes wide like he is a scared little puppy. “What are you studying?”

“Medicine,” Sho says with a happy smile.

“Why?” Jun asks.

Sho rolls his eyes dramatically. “I could answer this question forever,” he states. “There isn’t anything I don’t like about medicine. I know being a doctor is sad and difficult sometimes, but ever since I was ten and saw how an ambulance came to help because someone collapsed on the street, I knew I wanted to do it. Now I want to become an internist! Work with people and at the same time doing research. It’s…” he pause, realizing that he is babbling again. “I’m sorry, Jun-kun, this is probably really boring to listen to.”

“No,” Jun says quietly. “Not at all.”

Sho brushes the hair out of Jun’s face. “You don’t have to face the world now, Jun-kun, but you can’t always hide. So how about you begin with facing me?”

For a moment it looks like Jun is about to burst into tears, his lips are quivering slightly and his eyes wide. But then he nods tentatively, and Sho shows him a proud smile, brushing through his hair soothingly. “Don’t be scared. I’m going to protect you.”

He doesn’t even know why he said that. Can he sound even more arrogant and full of himself!?

But to his surprise Jun nods.

~~~

Matsumoto looks surprised when Jun comes to dinner, hair brushed out of his face, but he gladly doesn’t comment on it. Instead he tells them about his day, then he urges them to tell him about their day.

“By the way, Jun,” he says after a while. “Your doctor told me you should start going for little walks outside. Longer walks. He thinks you are ready.”

“Without the crutches?” Jun asks nervously.

“Hm, yes, but I would like someone to accompany you…”

“I could do it,” Sho offers immediately, noting how Jun blushes slightly. He is so adorable.

“But you are already working enough,” Matsumoto argues.

“It’s no problem for me,” Sho argues. “I wanted to see the surroundings of this place anyways, maybe Jun-kun can show me some beautiful places?”

Jun looks surprised at Sho’s request, he probably didn’t expect to be asked for help. He looks away shyly. “I…yes, of course.”

Sho has to hold back a teasing comment, because Jun is so adorable in his lost-puppy attitude, that he wants to hug and squish him and at the same time tease him to get a cute reaction. But he figures Jun’s father might find it weird, and Jun himself too.

~~~

Aiba-san’s son comes to visit, and he just looks like his father, just a lot younger. He is tall, has a bright smile and sparkling eyes. Sho likes him instantly, because he simply is someone easy to like.

“I’m Masaki,” he introduces himself casually, before waving towards Matsumoto-san. “Yo, Junichi-san!”

His father’s face turns red in embarrassment. “Masaki,” he huffs. “Be more polite!”

Matsumoto-san however just grins, apparently he is used to Masaki’s carefree attitude. “Good to see you, Masaki-chan. How is work?”

“Great! I love it!”

“What are you doing?” Sho asks curiously.

“I’m becoming a florist,” Masaki explains, and weirdly enough Sho finds nothing more fitting for this radiating guy. It sounds like the perfect job for him.

“I’m counting on your help then to pick the flowers for the grave this year!”

Masaki’s eyes widen in surprise “Really?”

“Of course, you are the professional.”

Sho blinks in confusion. What kind of grave are they talking about? He looks at Aiba-san helplessly. “The wife,” he whispers lowly. “Died years ago.”

Sho nods tentatively, feeling relieved that he didn’t ask out loud.

“Say,” Masaki says after a while. “Is Jun-kun around?” He sounds hopeful, but to Sho’s surprise Aiba-san and Matsumoto exchange a glance.

“He is not feeling well today,” Matsumoto explains. “I’m sorry.”

Masaki sighs. “I thought so,” he mumbles.

“He needs more time,” Matsumoto says softly.

“I just miss him,” Masaki explains. “And Nino does too. He was always such a great friend. I feel bad that I can’t do anything in return.”

“You can,” Aiba-san answers him. “One day he will come around and be ready again, and then you have to be there.”

“Yes, I’m counting on you then,” Matsumoto adds.

Masaki nods earnestly, before he lets out a nervous chuckle. “I wanted to try my luck and see if Jun is coming with me to meet Nino. At the beach bar.”

“The beach bar?” Sho asks curiously. There is no ocean here, where do they have a beach?

Matsumoto chuckles. “Why don’t you take Sho-kun along? He is basically stuck in this place here all day, and never goes out. Because he has such a strong sense of duty.”

Sho frowns. “But Jun-kun will be alone then!”

Matsumoto grins. “Yeah, all alone, just with his boring father. Nobody basically.”

If Sho could he would have disappeared in a hole in a ground, but unfortunately there is none, and all he can do is agree to go with Masaki to stop the others from laughing. When he goes upstairs to grab his jacket, he feels like he hears some noise from the other side of the corridor. Silently, not to be heard, he walks towards Jun’s room, trying to listen carefully. He can hear something rustling inside. So you are awake, Sho thinks, but hiding. Why are you hiding from all your old friends? It’s almost like Jun wants to erase everything from his past. Sho lingers in front of Jun’s room for a moment, wondering if he should knock and ask him if he wants to come along, but then he doesn’t dare to.

He doesn’t want to seem like he is prying. Jun seems to weirdly accept him around him, and Sho doesn’t want to scare him away.

~~~

The beach bar really is a beach bar. Just not located at the ocean but next to the huge lake Sho spotted already. And Masaki’s friend Nino is nothing Sho had imagined. He knew beforehand that Nino was one of Jun’s best friends, from primary school on until today. Unlike Jun he isn’t shy or serious at all, rather sassy and sarcastic.

“He didn’t come along,” Masaki pouts when they greet Nino. “But I got his tutor-chan to come along.”

“I told you,” Nino answers. He looks small, and young, almost like a pre-schooler, but he has sharp eyes and his lips are tugging all the time like he has to fight not to smirk. “Ever since last year he isn’t talking to anyone. Only to his father.”

“Yeah, he is even locking Sa-chan out,” Masaki adds.

“Sa-chan?” Sho asks in confusion.

“His older brother.”

Sho blinks in surprise. He didn’t know that Matsumoto has another son.

“The accident and the whole healing process really broke him,” Nino mumbles. “No surprise.”

“The accident?” Sho looks at them in confusion. “I thought he was sick?”

“Well, he was,” Nino explains. “He spent months in hospital. He even battled a high fever. But it was due to an accident.”

Sho stares at them for a while, slowly it dawns on him why there is a wheelchair in the house and why Jun walks on crutches. How did Matsumoto say? Let’s _call_ it illness. He probably lacked a better word for it, didn’t he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they finally met! And Jun is super-shy, or rather: he seems to be broken. It seems though he talked directly to Sho's heart?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun slowly warms up towards Sho.

“I wished he would talk to anyone,” Masaki mumbles sadly. “Last time I caught a glimpse on him – coincidentally – he looked so pale and fragile. Nothing like before. Like someone broke him.”

 

“Does he talk to your father?” Nino wants to know.

 

“Hardly,” Masaki explains. “Only to Matsumoto-san, and only when he is asked a question. But that’s about it.”

 

“He talks to me, I think,” Sho mumbles, blushing when he realizes the other two are staring at him now. “I mean, I tutor him, and he gives me answers and all…” he stutters, mentally kicking himself for saying what he did, because for sure Jun’s old friends will feel bad that Jun basically talks to a stranger but not to them.

 

To his surprise Nino nods though. “Makes sense,” Nino mumbles.

 

“How so?”

 

“Because he does everything his father tells him,” Masaki explains. “It wasn’t like this before. Jun actually hardly listened to his father. He was super-rebellious, but it seems like he wants to…”

 

“… obey.” Sho’s eyes go wide. All the time Jun agrees on everything and doesn’t say no when his father or he tell him to do something. He just wants to obey his father. He even wants to study law just to please him. He feels guilty for whatever reason.

 

“He is killing off everything he was before,” Nino points out. “His dreams, his hobbies, his wishes, his relationships. I think he doesn’t want to remember…”

 

“Maybe he blames us for not being there to save him?” Masaki asks.

 

“No,” Sho mumbles, recalling the way Jun hides behind his hair and how he stares at the ground all the time. “It’s more like he is punishing himself.” The realization makes Sho feel incredibly sad. Jun is just 19, he should be happy and have fun and meet with his friends. He should do things he enjoys and not lock himself away from the world.

 

“Promise me to try to help him,” Nino begs. “Because as it’s now you are the only one he talks to. You are not his father, which means he doesn’t only talk to you because he has to. He probably does because he misses talking to someone.”

 

Sho nods tentatively.

 

“Here,” Nino reaches out his phone, and Sho looks at it dumbfounded, not sure what Nino wants to show him with it. It’s only after a minute that he realizes it’s not just a photo with Nino and a random friend at the beach, but a photo with Jun. Jun has tied his hair back in bun, a huge smirk on his face, eyes sparkling in mischief while he has thrown an arm around Nino’s shoulder. He is sunburnt and looks so confident that Sho is inclined to believe he has a secret twin brother.

 

I want to see the light back in his eyes again, his father said. Jun hasn’t understood yet that his father doesn’t want him to turn into an obedient kid that suppresses all emotions but that he simply wants his child back.

 

“I will try to help,” Sho nods earnestly. He is not going to drop Jun. He doesn’t even know why, but he has touched his heart already, and Sho knows he wants to help him.

 

 

~~~

 

When he is walking back home, without Masaki, because the latter is staying behind and chatting with Nino, he realizes how much of a good friend they both are. He has never had any friends himself. Not like that. He has had classmates he kinda liked, but none of them even remotely cared for him like these two do for Jun. He has always studied most of the time and focused on other things.

 

Sho swallows when they realisation hits him. Somehow Jun is the first sort-of friend he has. Weird, isn’t it? He is the one supposed to help Jun, and now he already feels so attached to this guy himself.

 

When Sho reaches the house he sees a dim light coming from Jun’s window much to his surprise. Is Jun still awake? Or did he just wake up and go to the bathroom? Despite the light in Jun’s room Sho tries to be as silent as possible, he takes his shoes off at the entrance door and taps upstairs silently, just drops his bag and jacket in his room and sneaks to the bathroom. In case Jun sleeps he doesn’t want him to wake up. While he brushes his teeth he does wonder though why Jun is still awake. It’s way past 2AM and even if he didn’t sleep when Sho left to go out, why would he still be awake now?

 

Sho puts his toothbrush aside and frowns slightly. Before going back to his own room, he carefully approaches Jun’s. There is dim light coming from under the door. Jun does not sleep with his light on, Sho knows because this part of the corridor is always pitch-black normally. For a moment Sho lingers in front of the door, feeling creepy by doing that. He is about to walk away again before someone actually sees him being creepy when he hears a soft rustling sound, just like before he left.

 

Damn it. Sho frowns. It’s just a feeling, and probably silly, but… He knocks against the door, deciding to just go with what his sixth sense tell him. The rustling noise stops. “Jun-kun?” he whispers and opens the door carefully.

 

He needs a while to adapt to his surroundings, he has never been in Jun’s room before. When he finally sees Jun, the sight in front of him makes him freeze. Jun is half sitting, half lying on the floor, somehow squeezed between the table and the wall. “Jun-kun!?” Sho calls out, closes the door behind him and hurries towards Jun.

 

Jun looks at him in exhaustion while Sho moves the desk away. It’s only then that he realizes that Jun probably wasn’t able to get up alone, caught in a position that made him stuck. Sho feels angry all of a sudden. “Are you nuts!?” he yells angrily. “How long are you lying on the ground?”

 

Jun looks away, cheeks flushed, but Sho cups his chin and turns his face to make him look at him. “You were already lying here before I went out, weren’t you?”

 

Jun nods meekly.

 

“Why the heck didn’t you call for help!?” Sho huffs, while he grabs Jun’s arm, carefully pulling him up and making him sit down on his sofa, before he stands in front of him, hands on his hips. “You could have gotten hurt like this! Or catch a cold! There is no shame at all to ask for help! Were you seriously planning to lie here until morning when Aiba-san wakes you up?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Jun stutters.

 

“Everyone here is worried for you and always thinks about your health! How about you do that too?” Sho scolds. “I get that you don’t want to bother anyone and that you feel embarrassed, but I guess you simply stumbled and dropped in a way where you couldn’t pull yourself up anymore, am I right?”

 

Jun nods.

 

“The next time something like this happens you are going to call for help, you hear me?”

 

Again Jun nods, his lips quivering slightly. To Sho’s horror he has tears in his. Sho lets out an exhausted sigh and sits down next to Jun. He puts an arm around Jun’s shoulder and pulls him into a warm hug. “Sorry,” Sho says softly. “I didn’t mean to scare you by yelling at you.”

 

“You were right with scolding me,” Jun says quietly, his voice shaking slightly.

 

Sho smiles softly, his fingers brushing through Jun’s hair soothingly. Jun’s body feels a bit cold, probably from sitting on the ground for too long. “It’s okay now. Let’s prevent it from happening again, alright?”

 

Jun looks up at him through his big eyes, teardrops caught in his long eyelashes. He looks so beautiful that Sho has to take a little breath to calm down.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jun says again, looking like a lost puppy again.

 

“If you keep making this face and looking like a scared puppy the wolves will come out and eat you,” Sho teases.

 

Jun blushes. “Wolves don’t eat puppies,” he mumbles.

 

“Are you sure?” Sho teases. “Because wolves eat just anything.”

 

Jun stares at him for a while and something about the way he looks at him openly makes Sho so happy. Two weeks ago Jun was still hiding behind his hair, only looking at the ground.

 

“But you said you’d protect me,” Jun points out carefully “Didn’t you?”

 

Jun’s innocent question takes Sho’s breath away. He hasn’t expected this reaction at all. He thought Jun would maybe get embarrassed or shy or even angry, but not remember Sho’s words.

 

“I will.”

 

Even though he might be the wolf himself.

 

 

~~~

 

“No,” Sho states firmly.

 

“But why?” Jun shifts around nervously, hands playing with the sleeve of his huge sweater. He is wearing one that is at least two sizes too big for him, swallowing half of his body, and has a hoodie attached to it which Jun just pulled over his head. It’s so big it almost covers half his face.

 

“I told you: No hiding your face!”

 

“But we are going outside,” Jun mumbles.

 

“So what?”

 

“They might talk to me.”

 

Sho sighs. So that’s it. “We are going to stay away from public places. And I’m here too. If you feel uncomfortable when people approach us, just rely on me.” He points at Jun’s huge hoodie. “But I will only accompany you if you change your clothes!”

 

Jun blinks. “You are not going with me like this?”

 

“No,” Sho states firmly, though he obviously would go anywhere with Jun, no matter what Jun wears. To his surprise the latter turns around and goes back upstairs without saying anything. Sho shifts around nervously. Did he upset Jun? Is he being too pushy?

 

He is still wondering if he should ask Aiba-san for help when Jun comes back, carefully climbing down the stairs with the help of his crutches. He is wearing a loose black vest and a black hat.

 

He is still hiding, but it’s a small step forward. Sho smiles proudly. “Good,” he says, offering Jun his arm. Jun returns his smile carefully, and it makes Sho’s stomach flutter in joy. “Let’s go.”

 

Jun needs more time to walk, obviously, but he tries hard and Sho does his best to adjust to his tempo. Sometimes Jun tries to walk on his own without relying on Sho’s arm or shoulder, and Sho lets him while watching him carefully, to be there in case he falls. His heart jumps when Jun sometimes grabs his arm or shoulder by himself, without apologizing or hiding his need for support. It makes Sho happy that Jun seems to rely on him now and accepts his own borders.

 

They take a small even path towards the lake. Sho has already seen it a few nights ago when he was out with Nino and Masaki, but seeing it now with Jun is different. Jun leads him through a narrow path though which worries Sho instantly.

 

“Are you sure this is the right path, Jun-kun?

 

“Yes.” Jun blushes. “It’s one of my favourite spots at the lake. But if you don’t want to… we could also…”

 

“I would love to see your favourite places,” Sho interrupts him softly. He wishes Jun would slowly get more confident around him and not always self-doubt himself.

 

Jun doesn’t say anything but his cheeks are coloured in a light pink. Almost like a peach. Sho wishes he could pinch his cheeks a bit to intensify the colour. Maybe one day, he thinks, maybe one day he can.

 

He almost blushes at his own thoughts.

 

Jun’s favourite place happens to be the most idyllic spot Sho has ever encountered. It’s a small clearing next to the sea with a beautifully ornate bench and a small table. There is a small beach with flat stones leading the way into the water.

 

Sho makes sure that Jun sits down on the bench safely before he himself excitedly walks around to look at this beautiful spot of nature. When he comes back to Jun, he realizes he probably went a bit overboard with his excitement. “Sorry,” Sho stutters. “I’m a city-boy.”

Jun chuckles, and it’s the first time Sho actually sees him smile or laugh. It’s such a beautiful sound that Sho wishes he would hear it again. As fast as it came it’s gone again, and it seems like Jun suddenly realized he laughed, and bites down on his tongue to hold it back. He looks guilty all of a sudden.

 

“You should laugh more,” Sho advices softly while he unpacks the box Aiba-san gave him. It’s filled with little snacks for them. “You have a beautiful laugh.”

 

Jun looks away, sudden pain flashing in his eyes. “Why are you so scared to laugh?” Sho asks quietly, reaching out his hand to cup Jun’s cheek and turn his head to face him. To his surprise Jun not only lets him, but also rests his own hand against his. “Jun-kun,” Sho urges carefully. He has never been one to pick his words particularly carefully or to overthink what he says, but somehow with Jun many things are different. “Your family wants you to be happy, you know that, don’t you?”

 

Jun shakes his head quietly, but doesn’t pull his hand away. “I can’t…”he mumbles. “I can’t go back to it. This time I’m going to make it all right. I’ll do whatever they want me to do.”

 

It’s a lot more than Jun normally tells him, yet Sho doesn’t get it all. Where can’t he go back to? What the heck happened? Sho already figured a while back that Jun does everything according to his father’s wishes to please him. He has basically erased all his own wishes and dreams. But what for?

 

“What made you so sad, Jun?” Sho digs deeper. Jun’s eyes shift to the side, and Sho knows that’s as far as he can get for today. He moves his hand away from Jun’s cheek and brushes through his hair. “Do you want to hear a poem?”

 

“A poem?” Jun asks carefully.

 

“I brought the book with poems I’m currently reading with me,” Sho explains, noting with surprise how there is an interest sparking in Jun’s eyes. He decides to go with the flow. He originally wanted to study a bit of biology with Jun, but now… “I thought we could build our lesson today around literature.”

 

~~~

 

 

“Satoshi comes home this weekend,” Matsumoto says with a bright smile while they are having dinner together. Jun looks more tired than usual, probably because he went outside, but his facial colour looks fresher. After his father’s announcement though he gets pale.

 

“Satoshi?” Sho asks curiously, eyeing Jun, but the latter just looks away, not saying anything.

 

“My other son. Jun’s older brother.”

 

Sho nods and listens in awe, when Matsumoto tells him about Satoshi who studies law and is doing well, it seems. However, Sho notices how Jun keeps quiet throughout the whole talk and at one point even excuses himself and goes to his room. “Is there a problem between Jun and his brother?” Sho asks bluntly. He has learned that in this house he is getting much further when he voices his thoughts directly.

 

Matsumoto tilts his head. “Satoshi loves Jun dearly. Actually he is very protective of Jun. A little overprotective even. He has always been like that. When Jun and I fought he always stepped between us.”

 

Jun can actually argue and fight with someone? Sho can’t even imagine that Jun was actually able to argue verbally. He is so shy and nervous. And if Satoshi loves his brother so much, why will Jun react so badly to the news that his brother visits them?

 

“Really?” Sho blinks. “But Jun’s reaction just now…”

 

Matsumoto keeps quiet for a moment. “You know, one year ago Satoshi tried to stop Jun from…” he pauses. “Well, he might want to tell you himself about it,” he finally says. “But you know, it’s all in Jun’s head. That’s the problem.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kinda addicted to shy bunny!Jun hiding behind his huge oversized sweaters. *lol* I realized while proof reading this, that it's a recurring image I put in this fic. :-)  
> So, we now know that Satoshi is Jun's older brother, and that something is off between them. Well actually a lot of things are off.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satoshi arrives. Something seems to be off between him and Jun.

Sometimes Jun just stares out of the window for hours. During these hours it seems like he doesn’t hear anything or sees anyone. He is in his own world then, a world Sho doesn’t know how to enter. All he can do is carefully drape a blanket over Jun’s shoulders then to keep him from catching a cold and sitting next to him.

 

“I used to love to feel the wind in my face,” Jun mumbles all of a sudden.

 

Sho leans forward to understand better. “What do you mean?” he asks softly.

 

“Nothing,” Jun says quietly.

 

“You can still feel the wind in your face,” Sho argues, not ready to let Jun remain in this destructive mood. “We can go outside any time.”

 

Jun shakes his head. “It will never be the same again.” He shifts around a bit, wincing when he knocks his leg against the table.

 

Sho is at his side immediately. “Does your leg hurt?” He brushes over Jun’s calves carefully.

 

“It’s okay.” Jun looks away in embarrassment. “It’s… everytime I have my rehab, it hurts more, and then it gets better.”

 

“Such things need time,” Sho says softly. “Remember, three weeks ago you couldn’t go outside without your crutches, and now you can go on your own. And before that you needed a wheelchair.”

 

“I can’t get up the stairs,” Jun says bitterly. “The stairs are the worst. As long as I can’t go up or down without crutches, I won’t make any progress.”

 

So it’s the next step his physical therapist is working towards with him. Of course climbing up and down stairs is more difficult for someone whose body has been broken like Jun’s. Sho hasn’t quite thought about it yet, but now that he does, he realizes that simple fun things like swimming or taking the bicycle are nothing Jun can do now. Didn’t Nino tell him that Jun used to be sportive?

 

Sho’s thoughts halt for a moment. Swimming… “Say, Jun-kun, are you allowed to swim?”

 

“I can go into water, yes,” Jun says. “Water makes the muscles feel lighter.”

 

“Great!” Sho’s eyes gleam. “On weekend the weather is supposed to be good! We are going to the lake. The last time you said there is a waterfall close by! I want to see it, and we can swim there!”

 

Jun blushes, apparently only realizing now how much he just told Sho. Sho however is happy that Jun is slowly sharing things with him, without even noticing it. “I can’t bother you like this,” Jun stutters.

 

“Of course you can!” Sho smirks. “I want to show off my hot swim-pant-body anyways.”

 

Jun’s lips tug. But as always he holds back any smile, like he is scared of smiling. “You are doing so much, Sho-kun,” he says after a while, sounding guilty. “Too much.”

 

“Why are you always holding back? We are friends, aren’t we?” Sho asks dumbfounded.

 

Jun’s eyes widen. “Are we?” he stutters.

 

Sho pokes Jun’s forehead teasingly. “You can’t be that dense, can you?” he teases, making Jun blush. “I think you are actually even the only friend I have.”

 

Jun looks at him in surprise. “You don’t have many friends?” he asks, apparently curiosity winning over his shyness. “But you are so smart and nice and caring.”

 

Sho blushes at Jun’s compliments. “I’ve always been hard to handle as a friend,” he admits openly. “In school I was short-tempered, and I didn’t have much patience. And I always studied, I didn’t put any effort into friendships. Until I started college.” He smiles, looking at Jun openly. “You have made me realize how important friends are.”

 

“But you are here because my father pays you,” Jun mumbles.

 

“I’m tutoring you because your father pays me,” Sho explains with a chuckle. “It’s true that he told me to try to make you smile more. But I’m not supposed to hang out with you all day long.” He looks at Jun nervously. “I would like to remain your friend, even when you are moving back to the city and I’m not living with you anymore. I don’t want to come to you just to tutor you.”

 

Jun looks at him through his big eyes, his eyelashes fluttering slightly, then he nods and smiles. It’s the first genuine smile Sho actually sees from him. It’s over as fast as it appeared, but at least Sho has seen it now, and he knows he is going to try everything to make it reappear.

 

~~~

 

There are photos around the house, not many though, and when Sho asks Masaki and Nino about it when they go out one night (with Jun again staying at home. This time though Jun is more honest towards him, and tells him he isn’t ready. Still, Sho can feel the reluctance and sadness in his voice, and he wanted to stay with him and cancel on the others. But Jun didn’t let him), Masaki tells him they have basically put a lot of photos away not to unsettle Jun by seeing his former appearance.

 

“Was there something wrong with Jun before?” Sho asks carefully.

 

“Nothing was wrong with Jun,” Nino grumbles. “His family just had too high expectations!”

 

Sho looks at him in surprise. It’s all in Jun’s head, Matsumoto said once, but Sho doubts it is true. Maybe now it is just in his head, but actions led to it. Matsumoto himself is trying so hard to make Jun happy again, he even told Sho that he could do anything he wants to, even travel, as long as Jun is going to smile again. “Did Jun and his father not get along before?” he asks, not able to hide his curiosity.

 

“Not at all,” Masaki says.

 

“J always thought that his father preferred Satoshi over him, way over him,” Nino explains.

 

“And Jun and Satoshi?”

 

“Sa-chan is not a bad guy,” Nino explains with a smile. “He always protected Jun.”

 

“Brother complex,” Masaki giggles.

 

“So what happened between them?”

 

The two exchange a glance, then they shrug helplessly. “Honestly we don’t know. Jun doesn’t talk to anyone, you know that already.” Nino looks towards Masaki. “And Sa-chan…”

 

“Feels guilty?” Masaki says, but it rather sounds like he is just guessing.

 

Sho listens to them in awe. “Matsumoto-san is always trying so hard to make Jun-kun smile and be happy. He is always positive and in a good mood.”

 

“He is now,” Masaki says quietly. “He changed a lot.”

 

“As for him trying to make J happy, you know more about that than us,” Nino points out. “I haven’t seen J since months. Ever since he got out of hospital.” He nibbles at his chopsticks. “I want to see him so badly,” he finally admits, and sounds sad. “I miss him so much. I know he needs time, and he lost so much during this night. So much, but still…”

 

Sho is slowly fed up with all the hints everyone gives him, can’t they just tell him what happened? It seems to him that Jun himself tells him much more than anyone else. His anger flies away though when he sees how Nino’s caramel-coloured eyes are clouded in worry. “I can only try,” Sho hears himself say. “I can only try, but maybe I will try to find a way for him to meet you. I know he wants to. He feels lonely. I don’t know why he locks himself in, but once I found out, I might be able to find a way out for him.”

 

“Yes,” Masaki smiles, squeezing Sho’s arm. “You are the only one who seems to get through to him.”

 

Nino nods too. “We are counting on you, Sho-san.”

 

Sho nods. He is not going to let them down. Moreover he is not going to let Jun down.

 

 

~~~

 

 

Sho isn’t sure what he expected, but he is certain he didn’t expect Satoshi to look so nice. He is smaller built than Jun, radiating calmness like a Buddha statue. His features are not as stunning as Jun’s, but he is pretty, and he has a pair of soft eyes.

 

This is Jun’s older brother. The one – Nino said – who got favoured.

 

“You look surprised,” Satoshi smiles after they greeted and introduced themselves to each other.

 

Sho feels a bit embarrassed. “Well, I didn’t know what to expect.”

 

“You expected a tall, rough-looking guy. Someone you think would walk over everything and everyone?” Satoshi asks, he sounds amused and casual, and not upset, which makes it easy for Sho to admit everything.

 

“Kind of,” he chuckles. “But I’m happy you seem to be so kind. Others have told me you have a brother complex.”

 

Satoshi blushes. “Jun is my cute little brother, everyone wants to protect their little brothers.”

 

Sho laughs slightly. He doubts this rule applies for everyone.

 

“Thank you,” Satoshi says all of a sudden. “My father told me what you did for us up to now, and for Jun.” He sighs. “Although I think he won’t be ready to see me yet.”

 

“He hasn’t met you until now?” Sho asks in surprise.

 

“Not on his own will,” Satoshi admits. “Now you are surprised, aren’t you? What did the older brother do to his little brother for him to not even want to see him?”

 

He is right, Sho indeed wonders about it. He almost can’t believe it. But he realizes Satoshi is right, because Jun doesn’t appear in the salon to have tea with his family, instead Aiba-san tells them Jun excused himself to rest a bit. Sho is also surprised that both of them accept it. Satoshi looks sad, after all his brother hasn’t even greeted him, and Matsumoto looks worried too, but none of them actually stands up to face Jun directly.

 

They could, Sho thinks, just stand up and knock at his door. It’s not like Jun locks his door, he is also not a sulky teenager who yells and closes doors loudly. It’s like just as Jun seems to punish himself by locking himself out, his family does the same, punishing themselves and living in the belief that their youngest family member hates them.

 

This is messed up. Sho eats his piece of cake thoughtfully, wondering what he should do with this situation. He is sure Jun will hide in his room as long as Satoshi is here. Out of unknown (unknown to Sho, because everyone else seems to know) reasons, he doesn’t want to face his older brother. Sho shoves another spoonful of chocolate cake into his mouth, and decides he will do what he always does here, namely talk to Jun.

 

~~~

 

Jun looks tired and pale when he opens the door to his room, but his eyes light up a bit when he sees Sho.

 

“Here,” Sho waves with a plate with a piece of cake in front of Jun’s nose.

 

Jun sighs. “I’m not hungry,” he says, shifting around nervously.

 

“That’s no problem. I will leave it on your desk. You can eat it whenever you are hungry.” Sho grins brightly. “Just leave place for dinner.”

 

“For dinner?” Jun stutters.

 

“Yes,” Sho smiles. “I’m looking forward to having dinner with you tonight. And I have heard Aiba-san has ordered the kitchen to prepare all the specialities of this house. You need to explain them all to me.”

 

Jun looks torn, and Sho does feel a bit bad. Just a tiny bit though. He knows he is basically giving Jun no chance to back out of this dinner. But then, he doesn’t want to accept that Jun hides from his family and friends all the time. If the others accept it, it’s clearly their problem and their fault, but he won’t.

 

“Okay,” Jun agrees quietly.

 

“Great.” Sho looks around. The sun is shining. “Do you want to go for a short walk?” he offers. “Just a few steps.” He waves with his poem book. “I brought this along too.”

 

Jun nods, looking almost motivated. “Of course.”

 

 

~~~

 

Sho wisely picks Jun up only two hours before dinner. He has planned for their walk and combined lesson to last long enough for Jun not to be able to hide in his room. So when they return and just go to the bathroom and plan on switching their clothes, Sho tells Jun he will wait for him so that they can go to the salon together. He doesn’t want Jun to overthink the dinner tonight.

 

And it indeed works. Jun is not backing out, although he looks pale and nervous while Sho helps him down the stairs. Sho wishes he could whisper words of encouragement to him, but it would probably make matters worse.

 

The looks on Matsumoto’s and Satoshi’s faces are really worth it though, because both of them stare at Sho in sincere disbelief when he leads Jun into the salon.

 

“We just came back,” Sho apologizes. “I’m sorry, I oversaw the time during our lesson.”

 

Matsumoto couldn’t care less for them to be late, Sho knows as much, because Jun being here when Satoshi is here too, probably means more than anything else. “Don’t worry, Sho-kun,” he says with a smile. “Come you two, sit down, we just had a glass of wine.”

 

Sho nods, sitting on the left side of the table. Jun hurriedly takes the place next to him, probably scared to be left alone in this situation. Before he sits down though, he shifts towards Satoshi a bit.

 

“Hello Satoshi,” he mumbles shyly, without looking at his brother directly, and seems to be so nervous that it’s almost painful for Sho to watch.

 

Gladly Matsumoto has recovered from his surprise though and saves the situation by starting to tell a weird anecdote about a new client he has. Soon all of them listen and Jun seems to relax too.

 

Later that evening Jun excuses himself to go to sleep, and by the tired expression on his face, Sho has no doubt that he indeed needs to sleep.

 

“Do you want me to accompany you?” Sho offers.

 

Jun shakes his head, but shows Sho a careful smile. “Thank you, but I need to do it on my own.”

 

Sho can understand.

 

 

~~~

 

“He talks so much to you,” Satoshi says when Jun left. “He is almost naturally interacting with you. He is never doing it with me or Dad.”

 

“That’s because you expect the worst to happen before even trying,” Sho says bluntly, biting down on his lips immediately. Shit, he forgot to filter his words. The filter, Sho, don’t forget the filter! He can’t be so direct. To his surprise though Matsumoto is looking at him in interest.

 

“What do you mean, Sho-kun?” he asks curiously. “You can be honest to me. Anything that will help my son, really, I will consider it at least.”

 

“You give him too much room to retreat, too much space,” Sho says. “You don’t try to stop him from retreating. It’s true that for some things he isn’t ready yet, but his family should be an exception. You can always go and knock at his door.”

 

“You mean to say,” Satoshi starts carefully. “That when he refused to join us for tea or when he doesn’t want to see me, I should go to his room and directly confront him?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“What if he is really tired?”

 

Sho grins. “You don’t need to waltz into his room or act reproachful. Just knock at his door. If he is hiding there, you can ask him directly to join you. Even if he declines then, he and you know that you at least tried. And if he is truly tired, you can just let him sleep.”

 

“Yeah,” Matsumoto sighs. “Basic interaction. Things became so complicated.”

 

“Why did they?” Sho asks directly now.

 

Matsumoto looks at him for a while, thoughtfully, then he nods. “Fine, I will tell you. One year ago, Jun-“

 

His words get stopped by an anxious scream coming from the upper floor. For a moment all three of them freeze in their movements, all of them needing time to process what they just heard.

 

Then Sho is up his feet immediately. It’s Jun.

 

His heart races like crazy while he runs towards the staircase leading upstairs to see what happened. He stops when he sees Jun half sitting, half lying in the middle of the stairs, clasping the banister.

 

Matsumoto is the fastest, he is at his son’s side immediately, pulling him in an upright position so that he can sit down. He touches Jun’s face and shoulder. “Are you hurt, Jun?”

 

Jun seems to be in shock by what happened. “I don’t know,” he rasps out.

 

Matsumoto nods firmly. “I’ll call the doctor immediately.” He turns around to them. “You two, take him to his room carefully and bring him some ice for his leg and something to drink against the shock.”

 

Matsumoto chases down the stairs again, and Sho immediately approaches Jun, kneeling down next to him and carefully stroking his back. “It’s okay,” he says softly. “We’ll take you to your room.”

 

Satoshi nods, kneeling down in front of Jun. Before he can do anything though, Jun has grabbed Sho’s arm with both his hands, hiding his face behind Sho’s back, like he is his personal safety net. “No,” Jun says. “No.”

 

Satoshi halts in his movements, pain flashing in his eyes. And this time he seems to struggle a lot more to keep it under control. Then he gets up though. “Sho-san will take you to your room, meanwhile I will organize some tea for you, and the ice.”

 

Jun doesn’t say anything, but even through his clothes Sho can feel his heart racing. He seems to suddenly be horrified, probably shocked and scared because he dropped down the stairs. Just why can’t he let his family get close to him again? Sho is sure he doesn’t hate them, or he wouldn’t obey to each of Matsumoto’s words.

 

But why is he so anxious in front of them?

 

His answers need to wait though. First of all he needs to get Jun back in his room and be sure that he isn’t hurt. It’s probably the same trail of thoughts that made Satoshi retreat so fast. His brother’s safety comes first, that’s how much he loves him.

 

Sho carefully pulls Jun up and holds his arm and waist tightly to help him upstairs and back to his room. Jun is quiet all the time, and when he sits down on his bed, Sho dares to ask. “Do you hate your brother so much, Jun-kun?”

 

Jun has tears in his eyes when he shakes his head. “I love him. He is the best brother in the whole world. It’s all my fault.”

 

Sho frowns in worry at the way Jun’s voice cracks in despair, he pulls him into a comforting hug. “It’s not, Jun-kun. Your family loves you.”

 

“I don’t deserve their love.”

 

~~~

 

 

Once the doctor arrives, they leave him alone with Jun to give Jun some privacy. To their relief, nothing major happened. Just a few bruises.

 

The doctor gives Jun some painkillers and a sleeping pill for him to finally sleep tonight. Then he tells them to proceed as they did up to now, and that he is happy about the progress Jun is making.

 

Once he is away and Jun is asleep Aiba-san brings them each a glass with whisky, he looks relieved too.

 

It’s about time, Sho thinks, when he remembers how Jun cried in his arms and told him how much he appreciates his brothers. “I want to know what happened a year ago.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Satoshi is here, but Jun is not happy? And Sho already seems to have developed a... let's call it liking in Jun :D So, wolf!Sho can somehow lure bunny!Jun out of his room?  
> Oh, and for everyone who is getting impatient (like Sho) about the accident - a lot will be revealed in the next chapter! Promise!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sho finds out what happened to Jun.

To Sho’s surprise Satoshi and Matsumoto nod at his request. “You deserve to know the truth,” Matsumoto admits. “First I thought it might be better for Jun to tell you everything himself, but I think I just ran away from the truth myself.” He pauses. “Just where to start?”

 

“I will start,” Satoshi offers. “My part of the story. You know, Sho-san, at the night from his accident Jun and I had a major fight.” He looks at his father, almost like he asks for help.

 

“Jun was very sportive and liked action. He was driving the motorcycle,” Matsumoto explains.

 

Satoshi nods. “This night he wanted to go out with his friends. I never liked his friends. I thought they were bad for him, and driving at the night was too dangerous. Father did forbid him to do it, but Jun didn’t really listen to him.”

 

Like any teen, Sho thinks silently, he didn’t listen to his father either. But doesn’t say it out loud. “So what happened?”

 

“I wanted him to stay at home. One thing led to another, and we had a huge argument. I probably said some hurtful things, and he did too. We never argued before,” Satoshi pauses. “I always covered for him. I know I shouldn’t, yet I did. It was irresponsible. So this night I threatened to tell everything to our father. He got mad and yelled at me. At one point I lost my nerves and slapped him. Then he left.”

 

So, it’s guilt. In Satoshi’s case it’s guilt.

 

Satoshi looks miserable. “The thing is, I’ve always been bad with words. If I would have been more sensitive that day… and tried to reason more with him instead of yelling at him,” he mumbles. “Maybe nothing would have happened.” He has tears in his eyes. “Jun was more rebellious than I was, but he wasn’t _that_ rebellious, just a normal teen. Jun’s friends, except for Nino-kun, were all happy-go-lucky guys. I thought they were no good at all, and definitely not good enough for Jun. They were going out, having girlfriends, they were never serious. I thought so low of them, but they didn’t deserve…”

 

“Deserve what?” Sho asks sharply before it dawns on him. “Oh my god.”

 

“Jun was the only one who survived this night. None of them deserved to have their life taken away from them.” Satoshi looks at him in despair. “You know what’s the worst? The accident wasn’t even their fault. I thought I could all blame it on them even after their death, but then police found out that they weren’t even driving when they got hit. They were sitting on a bench next to the street, a truck driver lost control over his car and ran right into them. Nothing. They did nothing.”

 

“His friends died,” Sho stutters. Now everything makes a lot more sense, he thinks. Poor Jun. He didn’t deserve this.

 

“It’s not Satoshi’s fault,” Matsumoto intervenes. “And also not Jun’s. It’s mine.” He rubs his temples. “I used to go pretty hard on Jun,” he explains. “He is different than Satoshi. I should have let him do things at his own pace, instead of pressuring him so much. He was only constantly disobeying because I stressed him out, and the reason Satoshi covered for him all the time is because I did not have any understanding for him at all. As a parent, when your kid stops talking to you and you stop to listen to it, you really failed it.” He pauses. “We argued about tiny things like why he didn’t hit a full score on a certain test and alike. At first he tried, but at one point he obviously gave up and didn’t listen. For me back then he was a good-for-nothing son and I wished he was like Satoshi.” He chuckles bitterly. “Now I just wish to have my good-for-nothing son back, because this one at least smiled and was happy. Everything went so far because I couldn’t accept him for who he was. It’s all my fault.”

 

Sho lets all the information sink in. Nino’s words make more sense now too, and also his statement that Matsumoto made a complete change in his behaviour. Jun’s behaviour makes sense too. “That’s why he obeys you so much now.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Matsumoto blinks.

 

“You two think he hasn’t forgiven you, am I right?”

 

Satoshi nods.

 

“But he thinks it’s all his fault,” Sho points out.

 

“What?” Matsumoto blinks. “Did he tell you?”

 

“No, it’s obvious.” Sho lets out a sigh. “He does everything you want him to do. Every word and wish from you he obeys without any objection. He even wants to study law, because you are a lawyer and because Satoshi is becoming one. He has killed all his dreams and wishes because he thinks what happened is his responsibility. He is trying to be the perfect, obedient son he couldn’t be before.”

 

“I don’t want him to be anyone else,” Matsumoto admits sadly. “Ever since I got the phone call from the police and rushed to the hospital to see him through the window at intense care, I just wished for him to wake up again, and do all the things he wants to do. Whatever it is, whatever he wants to be.” He has tears in his eyes. “They only let me look at him through this window. I wasn’t even allowed to sit down on his bed or hold his hand or talk to him because they were fighting to save his life.”

 

“You love him so much,” Sho points out. “All you are doing now is to try to make him happy. You need to let all the guilty feelings behind.”

 

“I swore to myself, if I’m going to be so lucky to have my son back, I will do everything for him. Everything, whatever it takes. This time I’m going to do it right. Although I think it’s too late.”

 

“It’s not,” Satoshi mumbles. “It’s not too late. I’ve never seen someone change like you did.”

 

Matsumoto raises his eyebrows. “How about you take your own advice,” he suggests.

 

Satoshi blushes.

 

“The thing is,” Sho muses. “That Jun will probably never go back to who he was. If you have something like this happen to you, the losses, the pain, the sickness, you can’t go back anymore. There is no use in wishing he would be his old self again.”

 

Matsumoto has his forehead furrowed, looking at Sho thoughtfully. “You are right,” he says. “Wishing for him to become his old self again, is basically the same story all over again. Wishing for him to be someone he can’t be.”

 

“You have to tell him all this,” Sho begs. “To hear it from you and to understand, it will make him at least leave this part of his past behind. It will make him understand that you two don’t hate him and that he deserves your support. No one can ever make him forget what happened and the people he lost, but at least he can learn to handle it with your help.”

 

Matsumoto takes a sip from his whisky. “Sakurai got himself a good kid,” he muses.

 

Sho smiles slightly. “ _Sakurai_ wasn’t always happy about his rebellious, good-for-nothing son either. I even had a piercing in school and I still have a gang tattoo.”

 

“No way,” Matsumoto says, raising his eyebrows.

 

Sho lifts his shirt slightly, revealing the skull tattoo on his left hip. “I’m lucky though,” he mumbles sadly. “Because what I did was a lot more dangerous than what Jun did. I could have easily been hurt too.”

 

Sho isn’t sure how long they talked but at one point the alarm on Matsumoto’s mobile goes off. “It’s time for Jun to take his medicine.”

 

For a moment they are all quiet, then Satoshi gets up. “Let me do it,” he says with newfound resolution.

 

“And if Jun kicks you out of his room, if he throws a fit, if he is spellbound,” his father asks daringly. Sho takes a wild guess he wants to prepare his son for all eventualities.

 

“He is my little brother, I can’t be scared of facing him all the time. Sho-san is right. I never tried to approach him, I will do so now. If I can’t forgive myself, how can I expect him to come around me again.”

 

Matsumoto nods contently and hands him the little package with Jun’s meds. Once Satoshi is away, he looks at Sho thoughtfully. “Sho-san, I have a favour to ask from you.”

 

“Of course, what it is?”

 

Matsumoto smiles. “You are saying yes, even before I asked you?”

 

“It’s about Jun, so yes.” Sho states firmly.

 

“Have an eye on him, will you?” Matsumoto asks. “He is a good kid. Sensitive and caring. I want him to be able to fully develop his personality. Once we move back to the city next week, he will need someone to be more than just a tutor.”

 

“Jun is my friend,” Sho states firmly. “I already told him I won’t just leave him once we are back. And I most certainly don’t want to receive money for being at his side.”

 

Matsumoto grabs a cigarette, eyeing it thoughtfully. “I know what you see in him,” he finally says.

 

Sho feels his blood freeze in his veins. What… oh my… how did this man know!? But then Jun is his child, and he seems to care deeply and watch carefully. “I…” he shifts around nervously. “More than anything I want him to smile.”

 

“I know, which is why I have nothing to object…” He pauses. “At least not much. Just, you know this is going to be difficult for you?”

 

Sho smiles. “I’ve never liked it simple anyways.”

 

 

~~~

 

Sho has to fight the urge to head to Jun immediately. He wants to know him well and see how he is doing, but Satoshi is his brother and he has the right to have some private time with him. When he doesn’t return in what seems forever, Matsumoto gets up to check on them, and doesn’t return either. So, Sho assumes it’s going well for them.

 

He feels happy for Jun. Jun deserves some happiness after all that happened to him. Hence he goes to his room, takes his book and lies down in his bed. He doesn’t want to sleep yet, he feels too restless but eventually he falls asleep.

 

A knock against the door wakes him up. When he opens it, he looks right into Jun’s red-rimmed eyes. He looks like he cried. “Jun-kun,” he says softly, he reaches out his hand to touch Jun’s cheek, his thumb brushing over the sensitive spot right under his eye.

 

Jun shows him a careful smile. “Thank you, Sho-kun.”

 

“I didn’t do anything,” Sho argues.

 

Jun shakes his head.

 

“Always so stubborn,” Sho mock-complains.

 

Jun smiles at him and it makes Sho’s heart flutter. “I didn’t know how they feel,” he admits.

 

“They didn’t know how you feel either,” Sho points out. “Did you tell them?”

 

“I tried to.” He looks embarrassed all of a sudden, looking to the side.

 

For a moment Sho is surprised, then he chuckles, and opens his arms. “Come,” he says.

 

Jun takes the invitation and lets Sho hug him tightly. “What happened is not your fault,” Sho whispers into Jun’s hair. “It’s not your fault. Even if you were driving, it wouldn’t be.” He pauses, swearing to himself that he is going to repeat these words as often as Jun needs them to hear.

 

Jun doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t pull away from Sho’s hug either, that’s not a bad sign.

 

 

~~~

 

Satoshi has a brother complex. That’s what all the others have told him, and now Sho knows what they meant. They are having breakfast all together, just that this time he didn’t have to drag Jun along. He came by his own will. And Satoshi fusses over him like crazy, he even argues to put marmalade on his bread.

 

Matsumoto watches the scene before he grins. “Well, Satoshi, you might want to switch places with Sho-kun, so that you can feed your brother properly.” He turns to Aiba-san. “Aiba-san please cut Jun’s meat in small pieces for lunch. It’s easier for Satoshi that way.”

 

Aiba-san laughs, while Jun blushes and Satoshi glares.

 

“I can eat by myself,” Jun mumbles after a while.

 

It’s the first retort Sho has heard him give towards his family up to now. Although it’s not even a real one, but by the happy glance in Matsumoto’s eyes and by the way Satoshi immediately apologizes for being such a busybody, he assumes they are equally happy about it.

 

~~~

 

While Jun is having therapy Sho talks to Matsumoto a bit longer. “How many of Jun’s friends died that night?” he asks carefully.

 

“Three,” Matsumoto answers. “They were actually four friends, but one of them wasn’t with them that night, because he was sick that day and didn’t join them. His name is Shun. I saw him sometimes standing outside of the hospital and looking up to Jun’s window, but I didn’t dare to approach him.”

 

Shun…

 

“Do you have his number or address?” Sho asks carefully.

 

Matsumoto stares at him in surprise. “Do you want them to meet?”

 

“I want Jun to find closure. And if it’s true that Shun was outside, not daring to visit Jun, he needs closure too. When you are left behind, you feel horrible.”

 

Matsumoto nods. “I’ll let my secretary get the address for you.

 

Sho nods. Shun is an important step to take, because he is out of the same circle of friends, and he survived too just like Jun. The next step needs to be Masaki and Nino.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was debating with myself if I should update this weekend or not, because there is hardly anyone online. But then I thought... since it's a birthday fic I should definitely update ;-)   
> So now we know know what happened to Jun, and why he is like he is!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Jun be able to meet with his old friend Shun?

As always Jun tries to walk on his own for as long as possible, only taking Sho’s offered arm when necessary. “It’s getting easier, isn’t it?” Sho asks proudly when he sees that Jun’s steps are a lot steadier than when he first arrived at the manor.

 

Jun nods, eyeing Sho in his usual shy manner, but he is able to look at him directly now. He is almost getting bold, or something like bold. Bold-ish.

 

“Do you trust me, Jun-kun?”

 

Jun nods without hesitation.

 

Sho takes a deep breath before reaching out his hand to take Jun’s. “I want you to meet someone,” he says quietly. “I think you will be mad at me first, when you know who it is, but even so, I want you to give it a try.”

 

Jun stares at him for a while. “I will be mad at you?”

 

“For sure,” Sho tightens his grip on Jun’s hand and leads him further towards the meadow close to the lake. Sho wanted to take a closer look at the place for a while already, hence Jun didn’t feel suspicious before. “I’m sorry for tricking you into this,” Sho says quietly. “I really am. But I think it’s-“

 

Jun’s eyes finally meet the slender figure of a man sitting next to a single tree.

 

“Sho-kun,” he huffs. “Let go of my hand!”

 

Sho knew he would react like that. It’s inevitable. Seeing Jun angry for once should be refreshing, but it doesn’t feel good. “No,” Sho says firmly.

 

Jun tugs at his hand. “Let go,” he hisses.

 

Sho grabs Jun’s arm to stop him from wriggling, scared he might hurt himself. “Calm down,” he orders firmly. “You can’t run away from this your entire life! And you know it.”

 

Jun glares at him in anger, but to Sho’s relief the man approaches them now. It was surprisingly easy to make Shun agree to meet Jun. It was almost like he was just waiting for an opportunity. Now Sho just hopes that his feeling didn’t betray him and that Shun is the good guy his researches told him he is.

 

Shun drops his bag halfway and starts running towards Jun. Mentally Sho is prepared to kick him back into nirvana in case he shows signs of wanting to hurt Jun, but he doesn’t. He rips Jun into a hug like the lost friend he probably is.

 

“I thought I would never see you again,” Shun sobs into Jun’s shoulder. “I… missed you so much. I came to your hospital every day, but didn’t dare to go inside. I wished I was there that night, maybe…”

 

“You couldn’t have done anything,” Jun says quietly, his eyes widening after he spoke these words. Sho hopes that by saying them out loud, by saying them to Shun, he will realize that the same applies to himself too. No one could have done anything. It’s not Shun’s fault. It’s not Jun’s.

 

Sho reluctantly decides that these two need some privacy. “I’ll go back now,” he says softly, letting go of Jun’s arm. “Shun-kun please bring him home safely, don’t overstrain his health.”

 

Shun nods firmly. “I will.” He loosens his embrace and instead takes Jun’s arm to lead him to the place he was sitting before.

 

Jun throws Sho a glance, and Sho knows he will be okay.

 

 

~~~

 

Sho is studying for his own classes when Jun returns. To his utmost shock though Jun bows deeply in front of him. “Please forgive me,” Jun mumbles.

 

Sho looks at his friend in horror. “Did something happen?” He puts his notes aside, hurrying to stand at Jun’s side. He grabs his shoulders, forcing him to stand in an upright position again.

 

Jun looks miserable.

 

“Did Shun-san hurt you?” Sho asks in horror.

 

Jun shakes his head wildly. “It’s just…”

 

“Just?” Sho asks impatiently, getting nervous now.

 

“I yelled at you before, I’m sorry,” Jun finally says in a small voice.

 

Sho blinks. “You mean when I set you up with Shun?”

 

Jun nods, avoiding Sho eyes.

 

“That’s it?” Sho asks in relief.

 

Jun looks up at him in surprise. “But you are always so kind! And I got angry at you despite you only trying to help me all the time.”

 

Sho chuckles. “Of course you got angry at me. Everyone would. I meddled with your personal business and forced you to meet someone you were afraid of. I’m sorry for that, Jun-kun, I promise you I won’t do it again, it was an exceptional situation.”

 

“I know,” Jun says, looking at Sho nervously. “Are we good?”

 

“Are we?” Sho asks back.

 

Jun nods eagerly.

 

Sho smiles in relief. “Good,” he states, his heart thumping against his chest when he pulls Jun with him to the sofa and feels him sitting down close to him. He tries to look at Jun without staring, noticing his long eyelashes, his sharp features, his thick hair, his perfectly shaped nose. Now that his confidence is getting stronger each day, he is also dressing differently. Not hiding that much. Sho wonders if Jun even remotely knows how attractive he is.

 

Jun turns his head, staring right into Sho’s eyes now. He looks surprised for a moment and Sho is scared he will get upset over him staring, but he doesn’t. Instead Jun shows him a careful smile. “Hey,” he mumbles shyly.

 

“Hey,” Sho whispers.

 

Jun leans forward and Sho meets him halfway. He kisses Jun softly, carefully almost, afraid to hurt him or scare him away. To his surprise though he can hear a soft chuckle from Jun and before Sho can react he feels Jun’s tongue inside his mouth, tentative first before getting bolder. So good. Sho feels butterflies fluttering in his stomach, happy that Jun is the one who initiates to kiss with tongues involved, and before he can overthink it further, Sho leans into the kiss, fingers grabbing the back of Jun’s neck to hold him closer while kissing him heatedly. He tries to feel and taste the texture of Jun’s lips and explore the wet cavern offered to him. His free hand brushes over Jun’s sides and back, trying to feel his body through his clothes.

 

“Hello, I’m back!”

 

Jun and Sho draw apart immediately. Jun’s hair is slightly messy, his cheeks flushed and his lips slightly swollen. He looks alluring as hell, but it’s probably not the right timing to think that. Jun looks embarrassed and before Sho can react he acts on his own, hiding underneath the blanket Sho has put on the sofa and pretending to be asleep. Sho himself brushes through his own hair with all ten fingers to make it look less messy.

 

It’s Matsumoto-san who just came home from work.

 

“My adorable son is asleep?” he asks with a smile.

 

Sho can feel Jun’s body next to him stilling in surprise. His father probably never called him cute before. To imagine what kind of sad life Jun led, and his family too, and how it needed one of them to get into an accident for them to understand how important they are too each other.

 

Sho nods, brushing through his hair again in hope he looks kinda presentable. “Should I wake him up?” he asks in a low voice.

 

“No,” the man smiles. “Let him sleep. I’ll see him for dinner, though seeing my children once a day is not enough.”

 

Sho holds back a snort. First Satoshi shows his brother complex, and now Matsumoto is also developing a youngest-child-complex? Does this even exist?

 

“We are having dinner in one hour,” Matsumoto states before throwing a teasing glance at Sho. “Satoshi is coming any minute,” he adds with a smirk.

 

Sho blushes, horrified by the teasing and knowing glance Matsumoto gives him. To his luck though the man doesn’t say anything else and retreats. Sho lets out a sigh of relief. He bends forward to whisper into Jun’s ear. “Next time, Jun-kun, let’s make out in your or mine room. Or somewhere else.”

 

Jun doesn’t answer, and when Sho checks on him, he realizes he indeed fell asleep. Sho giggles helplessly, he is so cute, with his long eyelashes and his peaceful expression while asleep. Sho suddenly feels like a fifteen year old giggly and giddy schoolgirl fancying over her pretty classmate.

 

 

~~~

 

“We are all going to leave in a few days, Jun-kun, you know what this means, right?”

 

That’s what Sho told Jun yesterday, knowing he can’t trick Jun like he did with Shun a second time. This time Jun needs to be the one taking actions, and to his utmost surprise and joy he does. Aiba-san is making a barbecue on Friday evening, and Jun asked him to invite his son, and Nino.

 

“Jun,” Sho grabs his arm and stops him from doing anything, from freaking out. “It’s going to be alright.”

 

“But what if it isn’t?” Jun mumbles.

 

“It will, and I’m here too, remember?” Sho says softly, nuzzling his nose against Jun’s.

 

Jun smiles carefully. He still does that, smiling and feeling guilty afterwards, but at least sometimes he lets his guard down and shows Sho his rare emotions, like now. “I can’t lose them,” he admits. “I’m scared I’m going to lose them too.”

 

“Is this why you didn’t want to see them?”

 

“What if they leave me too?” Jun asks, his voice vibrating in nervousness. There is a tinge of desperation to it which makes Sho’s heart ache.

 

He takes Jun’s hand. “No one can make promises such as ‘he or she will never leave you’. But I can give you the promise to be there for you, as long as I’m alive.”

 

“What if you’ll find someone without issues, someone simpler, someone who is easier to handle?” Jun asks with tears in his eyes.

 

“I won’t ever leave you! Besides… simpler?” Sho raises his eyebrows. “As for now I think you are pretty easy to handle. Kinda simple-minded.” He grins when Jun throws him a glare and tugs his hand away. A little teasing always works miracles on Jun.

 

“Everything alright?” Matsumoto peeks into the room.

 

“Sho-san thinks I’m simpleminded,” Jun grumbles, eyes narrowed dangerously. He looks so cute like this.

 

Matsumoto nods. “Oh, okay.”

 

“Is that all?” Jun asks in horror.

 

Matsumoto seems to be surprised. “Was I supposed to react differently?”

 

“Jun,” Satoshi says, shoving his father aside and hugging Jun. “I don’t think you are simple at all.”

 

Jun sighs in relief. “Thank you, Sa-chan,” he says, before he follows his brother to set the table with him.

 

Matsumoto rubs over his head. “I still don’t quite get what just happened.”

 

“Nothing actually.” Sho bursts into giggles. “The brother complex is really something,” he grins.

 

“Yeah, you might want to distract Satoshi by finding him someone to date,” Matsumoto says dryly.

That’s actually a good idea, Sho thinks. Just with whom should he set Satoshi up? Is there anyone ready to volunteer?

 

 

~~~

 

 

“Where is he!?” Masaki blurts out, rushing past his father who looks like he wants nothing more than the ground to swallow him, and ignores Matsumoto and everyone else completely. Once he finds Jun, he glomps him like there is no tomorrow. “I missed you so much, Jun-chan!”

 

So much about they won’t forgive him.

 

“Eh, Masaki, let go of the poor guy,” Nino’s voice comes from behind.

 

Jun turns around with Masaki still clinging to his neck, before he bows deeply. “I’m so sorry for worrying you,” he stutters, his body tensed despite Masaki not letting go of him. “And for- I mean, I never answered your messages. And I-“

 

“Oh please,” Nino rolls his eyes but Sho can clearly see how affected he is. He looks like he is about to start sniffing and sobbing too. “Let’s not get anymore embarrassing and dramatic, shall we?”

 

Jun gets up again and nods carefully. Nino stretches out his hand and they make one of these buddy-greetings Sho always found weird, but finds kinda cute now that Jun is doing it. Nino holds Jun’s hand for a little longer. “Just don’t ever do it again, and we are fine.”

 

Jun nods with tears of relief in his eyes.

 

“Hey guys,” Satoshi says while joining them, smiling warmly at them. “The cook says dinner is going to be ready in twenty minutes, and we can already go outside to try some pieces from the barbecue.”

 

“Hi Satoshi-kun,” Masaki greets Jun’s older brother happily.

 

“Sa…” Nino stares at Satoshi for a while, shifting around nervously. “Hello Sa-chan!” he blurts, blushing slightly.

 

“Nice to meet you again, Kazu,” Satoshi says with a smile, annoyingly oblivious to how the other guy fancies him.

 

Sho smirks while he follows the others outside. Seems like he just found a volunteer to distract Satoshi from his brother complex.

 

~~~

 

 

“You know,” Matsumoto says while he hands a glass of red wine to Sho and Satoshi. “It’s all thanks to you.”

 

He sits down with a relieved sigh next to them. Sho and Satoshi have been sitting there since an hour, enjoying it to watch Jun and his friends chatting at the other side of the garden.

 

Sho blushes. “It’s not my doing,” he stutters.

 

“If it wasn’t for you, I would still not be able to face him properly,” Matsumoto says. “I would not have opened up to him.”

 

“I think you would have found a way,” Sho argues.

 

Satoshi smiles. “You and Jun are really stubborn. Just accept the compliment.”

 

“But I really think you are going too hard on yourselves,” Sho says, not ready to take all the credit for what happened. It could only happen because everyone played along and participated, everyone was ready to forgive.

 

“I don’t think so,” Satoshi mumbles. “I should have protected him at that night, I should have stopped him because he is my little brother. I should have reasoned with him, tried to talk to him, instead of snapping at him.”

 

“Come on, Satoshi,” Matsumoto says softly.

 

“When we argued, I swear something inside me broke too.”

 

Matsumoto lets out a snort. “Now you are overreacting!”

 

“I am not!” Satoshi complains. “It was the worst feeling ever! He looked so hurt and betrayed…”

 

Sho lets out a sigh. “The brother complex…”

 

“I don’t have a brother complex,” Satoshi grumbles.

 

Matsumoto pats his shoulder. “Sure, my son.”

 

Sho agrees, but at the same time he bites down on his tongue not to comment on Matsumoto’s newfound father complex. The shock of almost loosing Jun that night has made these two men very protective of him. Well, Sho thinks, at least he can be sure that Jun will always get support from these two.

 

“It’s been forever since Jun smiled like this,” Matsumoto muses into the silence.

 

Sho smiles while he watches Jun. His father is right, it’s been long, but now at least sometimes Jun allows himself to smile.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun opens up more and more, but still keeps the most important things inside.

“Slow, take it slow,” Sho says, while watching Jun closely. He is inclined to reach out his hand, but he knows Jun doesn’t want it, and he probably doesn’t need it. And that’s good. It’s something he has to do and achieve by himself. His pride is slowly coming back, and Sho wants to support that.

 

Jun has gripped the banister with his right hand tightly, but keeps his left hand off it, while he carefully takes one step after another. The staircase is long and his leg still sore. Therapy and rehab take long, Matsumoto has told Sho that Jun will probably need months to be able to do light sport again, and for full recovery of his leg even longer. And even then he might not be able to exercise for too long. He will always need to be careful about what he does and for how long. But Jun fights hard and is optimistic, and the doctor too. It’s just a matter of time.

 

It’s Friday evening and they all want to go for a walk together. The family. And Sho. He has stopped feeling embarrassed for being included in all family events. It’s beginning to feel normal.

 

Matsumoto and Satoshi are waiting at the bottom of the stairs, Satoshi with his mobile in his hands. Matsumoto nudges Satoshi’s side. “Maybe you also want to film your brother?” he sneers.

 

Jun stops in his movements. “What do you mean with ALSO!?”

 

“He has made a few photos,” Matsumoto grins. He looks at the screen. “It’s cute though. Send it to me, Satoshi.”

 

Satoshi nods. “Do you want the second one too?”

 

“Yes, sure.”

 

Jun grunts in annoyance. “Can’t you leave me alone?”

 

Sho smiles. “If you are being pouty now, they will find it even cuter,” he whispers from the side, trying to hide his amusement.

 

Jun sighs. “I know.” He faces his family again. “How about you go ahead? I’ll be down by Christmas!”

 

“No way are we going without you!” Satoshi argues.

 

Jun sighs, but concentrates on the task before him. It takes him fifteen minutes but eventually he manages to reach the last stair, all without help, without crutches, and without falling. He wipes the sweat from his forehead. “I did it!” he exclaims happily.

 

Sho squeezes his arm, feeling equally happy and proud.

 

 

~~~

 

Sho helps Jun to pack his things. “I’m kinda sad we are leaving this place,” Sho muses.

 

“I am not,” Jun says surprisingly upfront.

 

“Why?” Sho pouts. “I thought you were happy to spend time with me here.”

 

Jun blinks, and to Sho’s surprise he chuckles. It’s still rare for Sho to see Jun chuckle or smile, let alone laugh openly (he hasn’t seen him laugh up to now, if he is honest, but he came a long way from the guy hiding behind his air and not looking into anyone’s eyes, which is why Sho doesn’t complain… much.) “The time with you saved me,” Jun admits, taking Sho’s hands. “I was able to recover here and to get a break from life and reality. But I think now I am ready to go back.”

 

“To life?” Sho says softly.

 

Jun nods. “I’m scared though.”

 

“Don’t be.” Sho takes Jun’s face between his hands and pulls him into a soft kiss. “Whenever you feel scared, you have me. You have your brother. You have your father. Your friends.”

 

“I know,” Jun says quietly. “I’m trying to be optimistic about my future.”

 

“You lost so much, Jun, everyone can understand that you need time, but you don’t need to close the doors to your future. Your friends wouldn’t have wanted that. You did nothing wrong.”

 

Jun stays quiet for a while. “I know,” he says. “Technically.” He puts a few shirts in his suitcase. “But my mind and heart can’t quite accept it yet.

 

Sho puts his hands on Jun’s shoulders. “That’s what you have me for.”

 

Jun smiles warmly. “Yes, but once we are back I want to give you more than just my sad memories.”

 

“Oh really.” Sho raises his eyebrows. “What else do you want to give me?”

 

“I can cook,” Jun stutters.

 

God, he is so cute when he is embarrassed. Sho decides he can poke and tease him a bit further. “And?”

 

“Like, dates,” Jun offers shyly. “If you want to.”

 

“Of course I want to,” Sho says with a smile. “How about kisses?”

 

“Kisses and so,” Jun agrees. Sho stares at him in surprise. With _so_ does he mean… “Maybe,” Jun adds, like he realizes just now what he promised.

 

“Oh.” Sho raises his eyebrows. “Now that you said it, you sparked my interest.” He grabs Jun’s arm, pulling him into a heated kiss. “And believe me for _that_ you don’t need you have your leg fully healed!”

 

“Go away,” Jun grumbles gruffly.

 

Sho ignores him and sneaks closer. “Did you already have sex, Jun?” He takes his hand, placing a kiss against it. He doesn’t want to make fun of Jun when it’s about sex, it’s too much of a sensitive topic, and he would hate for Jun to feel anxious around him. “Because just so you know, I want to do everything with you. But I can give you as much time as you need. No need to rush. And no need to feel embarrassed, you can tell me everything and I won’t laugh.”

 

“Nino-kun and I…” Jun admits. “We did experiment sometimes three years ago. But we never went the full way. Just kissing and touching. And then I had something like a boyfriend, in school, he moved away two years ago, but we didn’t have sex. Just other things…”

 

“Nino, huh?” Sho asks.

 

“But it’s over since a long time, and we were always just friends,” Jun stutters. “We just wanted to practices for when it gets serious.”

 

Sho grins. “I know. Listen, I’ve also just had one boyfriend up to now,” he tells Jun openly. “A senpai in High School. We had sex, but I’m not super-experienced.”

 

Jun smiles happily. “I’m ready to try it all with you.”

 

Sho stares at Jun’s wide-opened, shining eyes. “I’m dead,” he breaths out. “You are so cute.”

 

Jun shoves his hand away. “You are not supposed to call me cute,” he complains. “At least call me hot.”

 

“Oh really?” Sho teases. “Well, I can reassure you. You are also very hot, don’t worry. When we went swimming together I could catch a very promising glance on what’s beneath these clothes.”

 

“Stalker,” Jun snorts, but the blush on his face gives away how much Sho’s words affected him.

 

Sho wraps his arms around his body, kissing the back of his head softly. “I can’t wait to take you out on dates.”

 

“Will you still tutor me?” Jun asks.

 

“Do you want me to?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Sho smiles in relief. “Then I will of course. Have you decided on a study?”

 

Jun nods. “I’m going to study law.” Sho blinks, he hasn’t expected that answer. He thought Jun would rather like to pick up literature or something alike. “I know what you think. But you are wrong,” Jun says firmly. “I’m not following the footsteps of my father or Satoshi. I want to study family law and maybe work with teenagers later on.” Jun looks uncertain all of a sudden. “You think I can’t do that right? Probably I’m not good enough… I mean, I need to pass the entrance exam and…”

 

“Sh,” Sho smiles. “I am sure you can do it. I have no doubt about it. It’s a good plan you have.”

 

“Really?” Jun asks shyly.

 

Sho nods, feeling proud of his boyfriend all of a sudden. “Really.”

 

 

~~~

 

A loud thunder makes Sho basically jump out of his bed. It’s like a fucking explosion, like the mountain next to them just blew up. He hates thunderstorms with a passion, they make him uneasy. It’s loud, the lightning flashing everything for seconds, the heavy rain.

 

Satoshi already went back to the city earlier that evening, and Matsumoto is meeting Jun’s doctor and organising a few last things for their return.

 

When another thunder makes the room shake, Sho decides he can as well get up and fetch himself a glass of water and hide somewhere in the living room. It’s weird to tap through the house at such an hour, and when it’s so silent. Normally Matsumoto is often still up, working or reading somewhere, or Satoshi. Or just the knowledge that people are around helps.

 

Sho yawns while getting a glass from the kitchen and filling it with water, when he returns he walks by the salon, tired eyes scanning the room. He almost misses the shadow lurking there. But when a lightning strikes yet again, he can see a figure sitting at the window. Sho squeals in a panic. A fucking shadow! Someone is in the house! Burglar? Thief? Murder?

 

“Sho-kun?”

 

Sho’s racing heart slows down when he hears the voice. “Jun-kun?” he asks in surprise, carefully stepping closer. Jun has sit down on the windowsill right in front of the huge glass façade of the salon. It’s a beautiful big window that gives the image of almost being outside.

 

“What are you doing here?” Sho asks while coming closer.

 

“Watching…” Jun mumbles shifting his gaze back to the outside.

 

There is this expression in his eyes, again. Every time when Jun gets lost in his thoughts the melancholy and sadness seems to return. Sho wonders if he will be able to make Jun talk about his fears, finally give them a voice and share them with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter update than usual, but I really wanted to post today! Sorry, I felt so demotivated... I wasn't able to find my motivation to proof-read and post and... I don't know >< It's why I definitely wanted to post today!! <3  
> The next chapter is supposed to be the last btw. :-)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Sho's help Jun opens up about the accident.

Sho needs a while to regather his senses, for a few minutes he is just standing next to Jun, looking out of the window as well and noting the thick raindrops angrily falling down on the ground. Then he brushes his fingers over his arms before he takes Jun’s hand into his. “Can’t sleep?”

 

“No.”

 

“Me neither.”

 

Jun looks at him in surprise. “Really?”

 

“Yes,” Sho reaches out his hand. “Come?”

 

Jun nods, taking Sho’s offered hand and walking back with him. They take the stairs slowly, Sho giving Jun the time he needs to walk upstairs.

 

“I…” Jun pauses in the middle of the corridor.

 

Sho understands nevertheless. Instead of accompanying Jun to his room, he takes him to his own. They both snuggle under the blanket. Jun rolls to the side, looking out of the window, while Sho hugs him from behind.

 

“It was raining that day,” Jun says all of a sudden, voice hoarse. “But before that it didn’t. The thunderstorm came unexpected. We didn’t expect it. We wanted to grab some burgers and then go to the lake and chill. I was so mad that day,” he mumbles.

 

Sho hugs him closer. “Why were you mad?”

 

“I had a fight with Satoshi. We never fought before. I don’t even know how it started. I just remember that he slapped me, and god was he right to slap me. I was such an awful brother.”

 

“You weren’t,” Sho says softly. “I know you weren’t.”

 

“How do you know?” Jun wants to know without any accusation in his voice. It just sounds bland.

 

“Satoshi told me,” Sho explains. “And your father too.”

 

Jun stays quiet for a moment. “I tried so hard to be like Satoshi for years, but whatever I did it wasn’t enough.”

 

“Jun, your father doesn’t expect you to be Satoshi, he for sure told you last week when you reconciled.”

 

Jun nods, and Sho instantly feels relieved.

 

“There is no one who is a better Jun than you are,” Sho says softly. Jun’s body feels warm in his arms, and Sho can feel the tension subsiding.

 

“I hated fighting with Satoshi,” he admits. “I felt angry, and sad. And although I was out with my friends, I only thought about him, and then I thought how I would need to go back home, and how I would probably get into another fight with my father, and…” He swallows. “That night I actually wanted to disappear.”

 

“What?” Sho blinks.

 

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Jun begs quietly.

 

“I won’t,” Sho promises, because he knows whatever plan Jun had in the past it’s different now.

 

“I had my passport with me and some money. I was almost 18 anyways. I was ready not to go back anymore. I felt like I couldn’t. I was so tired of it all. Like I was constantly running, but I would never reach a goal. Like I would never do something or reach something that would be worth of my family.” He stops, and for a while Sho just listens to Jun’s breathing. He is not prompting him to say anything or asking questions. If Jun wants to talk, he will. “When the rain started we were getting off the motor cycles. There was a small bench next to the street, with a little umbrella. We were chatting, Yuki, one of my friends, made a joke, and everyone was laughing. I didn’t even listen, because my thoughts were somewhere else. When the truck came, no one of us noticed, the driver was too fast, and lost control. I don’t remember anymore, I just remember how I screamed and how we tried to run away, but it hit us all. I felt nothing then. I didn’t even see anything. It felt warm first, and then cold. And then I woke up.”

 

When Sho feels tears on his fingers, he feels worried. “Jun,” he says softly.

 

“I woke up, and no one told me first what happened. I just realized dad was there a lot, almost all the time, that’s how I knew something was off. When they told me… that all the others are dead…” he coughs “I was so sad. And so mad. Why did they die, and I survived? I was the one who wanted to leave, not them. I should have been the one who was dead. It would have made things easier for my family and-“

 

“Jun,” Sho says firmly, shocked by Jun’s gloomy thoughts, stretching his body to grab Jun’s shoulder and turning him around so that they could lie face to face. He tries to phrase his words as careful as possible. “Listen… Everyone goes through bad times with their parents, all siblings fight, and every son argues with his father. None of this makes you a bad person. The wish you had, that you wanted to leave does not mean you deserved to die! While you are being eaten up by guilt, Satoshi and your father are too.”

 

“What do you mean?” Jun asks quietly.

 

“Satoshi feels like it was his failure as an older brother, that he couldn’t stop you. That he snapped, instead of reasoning with you. He thinks nothing would have happened if he had done a better job as an older brother. Your father thinks he failed the both of you completely, and if he hadn’t put so much pressure on you all the time, and accepted you for who you are, nothing bad would have happened to you and you would still be his old Jun.”

 

“He hates old Jun,” Jun mumbles sadly.

 

Sho pulls him in a hug. “He loves old Jun. And he loves new Jun. Because he loves Jun.”

 

Jun clings to him for a while, shivering, and Sho worries if he has done the right thing in letting Jun talk about everything. He is not a therapist, and if Jun breaks down now and has a panic attack, what is he going to do? To his relief though the shivering stops after a while and Jun’s breath evens out.

 

“I love them,” he mumbles. “I love my family.”

 

“They love you too.”

 

“I don’t want them to feel guilty.”

 

Sho brushes over Jun’s hair softly. “As long as you feel guilty, they will too. You know that. It’s why you try so hard.”

 

“Sometimes it’s hard,” Jun admits. “Like tonight.”

 

“But in nights like these just rely on me,” Sho says warmly. “I will be there. You don’t need to keep it all inside. Share it with me.”

 

Jun nods. “Dad is really being so nice and caring and patient,” he admits. “I’m not used to it, and I don’t know why he is like that now. He changed so much, I want to make him proud. I want to repay his kindness.”

 

Sho smiles. “You are really similar to him, Jun, he probably just needed some time to realize that he is looking into a mirror sometimes. I think it’s also the reason why you clashed sometimes.”

 

He can almost feel Jun blinking in surprise. “Satoshi is like my mother,” he finally admits.

 

“Yes, and you are like your father.” Sho chuckles. “Two hot-tempered and stubborn guys just had to clash.”

 

“Hey,” Jun complains, annoyance in his voice. “Who are you calling stubborn!?”

 

Sho has to fight hard not to giggle and laugh at Jun’s frown. He is so adorable, and after Sho’s initial first insecurities when they met for the first time it’s surprisingly easy to get cute emotions out of Jun. He can’t wait to see what else he can tickle out of him.

 

Jun’s breath is going steadier now, he is probably going to fall asleep soon, and Sho himself suddenly doesn’t mind the thunderstorm anymore.

 

“Don’t leave me, please,” Jun mumbles sadly, the remnants of his trauma probably going to remain forever.

 

“I won’t.”

 

~~~

 

 

“Is this really okay?” Matsumoto asks in worry. “You embarrass me by taking the train. You can drive with me and Jun.”

 

“Thank you,” Sho smiles. “But I would like to visit my sister on the way back home, buy a few things, and then I should visit my mother.” He pauses. “Well… Jun-kun and I, tomorrow, we will…” he pauses, unsure how to ask Jun’s father that he takes his son out on a date.

 

“Yeah yeah,” the man waves him off casually.

 

“You don’t mind?” Sho asks, face feeling hot in embarrassment.

 

“What should I say,” the man grins. “After all I got my son back from the dead, and I trust you to watch out for him, more than any woman could. I told you when I hired you, didn’t I? All I want is for him to be happy.”

 

Father complex. Totally.

 

Sho has to grin though. He feels happy for Jun. “Are you going straight home? I’m still helping Jun with his studies after all. I wanted to send him some information about the universities he might be interested in.”

 

“I just want to go shopping with him,” Matsumoto explains. “We need new curtains. And I got tired of my wardrobe from last season. You might not know it, but Jun likes fashion a lot. I thought maybe I could spoil him a little when he finds something he likes.”

 

FATHER COMPLEX for real. This time Sho can’t keep his laugh. When Matsumoto narrows his eyes, his glare suddenly resembling Jun’s, Sho raises his hands in defence. “I’m just happy you get along so well,” he admits.

 

Matsumoto blinks before he smiles brightly. “Me too.”

 

 

~~~

 

 

Jun strongly refused being picked up at a home like a helpless school girl. He said he wants to meet Sho right in front of the restaurant, like any capable person would.

 

He is proud like this. But it’s nothing Sho can’t cope with. Especially when he sees Jun approaching him, ten minutes too late, wearing black jeans and silver-grey shirt with the first two buttons being open and a loose tie wrapped around it in a casual manner Sho himself never managed to pull off.

 

“I’m sorry for being late,” Jun blushes. “I underestimated the time the subway would need, and I’m still so slow.”

 

He has brushed his hair back a bit, styled it properly, and even wears a thick wristband and long silver necklace.

 

He has dressed up, Sho realizes. It’s a date! A real date!

 

“No problem, Jun-kun.” He smiles happily. “Shall we go inside?”

 

Jun nods. When Sho sees a few guys staring at Jun like he is their prey, he grabs Jun’s hand possessively. “My boyfriend,” he grumbles only for him and Jun to be heard.

 

Jun chuckles lightly. He smiles on of these genuine real smiles Sho loves so much. And Sho swears to himself to make Jun smile as much as possible, no matter what the future will hold for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it came to an end :-) I think now Jun can walk into a positive future and gradually recover emotionally with Sho's help. Sho won't leave him hanging just like that.


End file.
